Imagine...

Imagine that you want to get somewhere, but you are absolutely convinced that you cannot. You believe that you are limited and unable. You believe that you have deficiencies and that no matter how you try, you can’t succeed.

Fear of not being able is very real for most of us. Many learn to fear failure and judgment at a very young age. Imagine you are a child in school being graded and compared to others every day. You are learning new things, practicing new skills, and you feel that you are always short of the expectations of your teachers and parents. As you experience this day after day, the fear that you cannot succeed grows. 

This is the way that many children experience  learning at school. How can we expect these children to reach their full potential?

Successful learners confidently try new things, learn easily from their mistakes and are happily curious about the world. Children who struggle in school often become adults who struggle in life. Before they adopt attitudes of successful and joyful learning, they need to face the very real and powerful fear of failure and of not being able to learn or to live successfully in the world.

Most adults have a really hard time facing fear. They don’t know how to face fear and they don’t want to have to do it. However, both children and adults can do this, and when we face our fears, we are made free in a profound and transformative way. Facing our fears is actually very simple, for the key is courage and courage comes from the heart.

Breathe deeply into your heart as you intend to face your fear. Take another deep breath and look within yourself at that fear. Don’t look away. Don’t distract yourself. Breathe slowly and deeply as you imagine the worst that you could experience, the worst outcome, the most complete failure. What you will find is that it is bearable. If it happened, you would bear it, you would continue, you would go on from there. The fear becomes smaller; it becomes no bigger than you are. You come to realize that if you can face the fear once, you can face it over and over again. In fact, each time you face it, it becomes smaller and you become stronger and the whole dilemma shifts and becomes easier for you.

Then, whether you are a child or an adult, you are ready to make a choice about yourself and your life. You do this with a new inner strength because you have already faced your fear. You decide whether you will take on challenges that have the possibility of failure, or whether you will stay in your ‘comfort zone.’ There are advantages and disadvantages to each of these choices and it’s up to you which way you go.

If you decide to take on challenges, you have to do it with all of your will and your heart. You can’t just do the minimum as you grumble and groan and expect to succeed against the odds at something that you’ve always found really difficult.

So, that is where perseverance comes in. You have to set a goal or two and formulate a strategy. Then plan your time and your efforts and also look for support. Then, when you go for it, keep on until you get to where you have chosen to go. That’s the approach that will have the people around you saying, “Wow! You’ve accomplished so much!”

But impressing others is not why you should face your fear and persevere. You should do this so that you will know in your heart that you can. For then you will always have that knowing; no one will ever take it away from you, for perseverance leads to self-empowerment.

www.teachkids2learn.wordpress.com

More about working with Lu Emanuel at www.beautifultangle.wordpress.com   

(This is my latest article published in Sutton's community newspaper Le Tour. I am publishing it here as well because those who live elsewhere might enjoy reading it, and might find it helpful. Le Tour's editor and publisher, Denis Boulanger, chooses one word as the theme for each issue of Le Tour. The newspaper has a new edition for each season of the year, for a total of four editions each year. The theme for this Spring, 2014 edition of the newspaper was 'perseverance.' )